one for my mom

john, paul, phillip, jim, joe, jack, chris,
charlie
charlie, can can you come help me?
i'm not feeling my best today

My mother gave me my name
but
in the times where she is overworked
she forgets.
I'm used to it
i witnessed her
workaholic ways all through my childhood
because she always had three careers
mother
christian
whatever job she worked at the time

she was a mother to my sister
to me
to every child who came into our home
she was mom
she was auntie brenda
she was babcia
polish for grandma
when all those children
had children of their own

she was christian
not in the classic sense
i mean
twice divorced and closeted bisexual
until i turned 16
i never understood why she couldn't take communion
yet she was the only one in church
to open her doors for complete strangers
no matter how often
they stole from her

my mother worked
sometimes till it killed her
keeping us living in a town
where we couldn't dream of affording
even the basic needs.
there were times
where we went without electricity
because we needed to pay the gas
there were times
where food came from the pantry
food came from friends
who we now owed favors
she never went more than a couple weeks between jobs
no matter how rough the market
she'd take any work
to keep a house over our heads

john, jacob, peter, paul, just... you
can you help your mother
i, i just cant do it today

it's alright mom
i've always done what i thought was best to help you
even when it was leaving you
breaking your heart
things were rough for awhile
but you're better now
than you ever could have been with me around
i'm sorry for my youth
when i was angry
when i was embarrassed

i never should have been embarrassed to have
my friends and girls meet you
because you are the definition
of good people
no matter how hard it was
there was always room
for an extra seat at the table
and i'm glad
that now
even though i don't live with you
even though i don't visit as often as i'd like
i know there is always a seat open for me
always a couch or floor
for me to crash on

jacob, paul, thomas, peter, chris, jack...

charlie mom,
it's charlie
i'm here
let me do this for you
so you can rest.