apology.

it's like the time i was climbing to a cliff with my step dad
when i was young i would speak without thinking
feeling awkward
i started the day saying something
i dont remember what...

i'm not exactly old
hell i'm barely adult
more child than i'd care to admit
i still speak without thinking
the awkwardness is worse now

i've always been offensive
normally it's all joking
this is because when i actually want to offend
i want you to take it as a joke
i dont want to offend
i'm just offensive

not defensive
because the best defense
is a good offense
i'm so offensive
nothing could slip past me anyway

i'm cocky
i think it only takes a second to know me
i think i wear everything on my face
my past
my present
my future
cant you just look at my face and see it?

i'm wrong of course
i'm wrong a lot
like when i was climbing to a cliff
if i had been taller
it would've been hiking
but i was young
it was climbing a mountain
there was a rope to hold onto
we climbed for what seemed like eternity
in silence.

we ate sandwiches and chips and grapes
at the top
staring into beauty
in silence

we inhaled
he told me a story i dont remember
then we took a picture

remembering it is like a silent movie
i fill in the audio myself
things i wish i had said
things i should've asked
just to get perspective
just to know more

just to remember with another sense than my eyes

you, you i remember with more than just my eyes
i opened you up with my offense
tore down your walls
jumped off the cliff of decency
left us feeling
awkward

so now i'm climbing back up the mountain
i'm small, it's large
i dont know if i'll make it
i'll just climb