I am in a forever state of winning you back
Once a month it seems I have to alienate you.
Offend you.
Make you know,
I do not belong here.
I know i don't belong here.
I've heard your venue called
"The best writing in the country"
i am not to be included
nor would i want to be
i am too young
too stupid
too against your grain
I am shooting fish in a barrel
sized to be an ocean
while you are all straight-razor shaving face
to baby-smooth skin
every hair removed
a poem blowing me away
sometimes i may hit something
you always finish with finesse
Cantab, you are amazing
i have never been disappointed in our short engagement
i believe i have disappointed you
hell i hopefully scared some of you
with these poems that give me dagger-eyes
these poems that give me
the most awkward applause
i have heard
in my life
i'll miss you
and this game we seem to play
where i push you all away
and try to win you back
maybe someday
when i push you away
you'll drag me down with you
then, i'll feel fully welcome.
- charlie
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