2/30

Modern Day Phaeton Speaks to Apollo

Yo, dad!
the kids at school keep saying you arn't my real dad
and moms a slut, and i'm a bitch and i beat up a kid...
so mom got mad.
when i told them what they said, i heard her call you
and then she sent me to your house
but it's morning, and you're not home
i know i know, work...
but like... dad
I want to prove i am your son.
and last i heard maury povich only cared about parents who have doubts not their children
nor do i think he could get you to make a public appearence
i mean, it's been a few years.

1/30

if i am ever in a hospital bed, i will demand less comfort.
let the pain keep me awake.
dull it to a kitchen knife so it's bearable
but let it hurt me to sleep
let my bed be one of those cots
from the first great war
so i wont look small
I am not the kind of man to sink into mattresses
looking small and lost within sheets and pillows
i should look as i do standing
not quite tall, but not short
proud
with shoulders that show how much weight i have carried
hospital beds... are too comforting and too distant
i want to be next to my loved ones
leave out the rails
i'll behave (mostly)
and stay put like you tell me too

i just want to have them hold me when they say goodbye
without a distance separating us
death comes by inches
and when it comes for me
she'll find none to fit between us.