IEDs and me

i keep thinking of those videos
propoganda for terrorists
or perhaps just for the anti-american
how blood boiled
my heart sickened
my eyes forced open
you cant let yourself look away
not when you know
that you'll be the one
guarding that gate
checking that vehical
searching that person
who may or may not
be ready to kill you
and all those you are trying to protect

i saw IEDs blow up convoys and humvees
a flash with smoke
it's not as dramatic as the movies make
no fireball
no flames flickering afterwards
just black smoke
and knowing those inside that vehicle
arnt alive anymore.

i saw a young marine
complacent in his area
not showing the aggressive
assertive
asskicking stance
that we're trained to have
for both friend and foe
no matter how many times we've seen them
get blown up
a vehicle with a bomb
someone who worked at that base for years
studying us
surveying us
sedating our minds with a sense of

friendship.


during our combat patrol practical application
i volenteered to carry the radio
my MOS is 0621
feild radio operator
i was hoping to get a little expiriance
before i headed off to my schooling
we were ambushed
and afterwards they explained how we bunched up
how we followed a set path instead of running through the abundant woods
how if it were real combat we would've been destroyed

then we were hit by an IED
our dispersion along the road was good so we only had 3 causualties out of our squad
consisting of 24 people

that was good
3 people who would've died
i was in the rear of our formation
by the time i called it in to EOD
and ran to the front
those casualties would've already lost have thier time
drastically needed for medevac
which could only be called in by me

it made me realize i need to get faster
a lot faster

there's a million places i could get sent
or attached to
humvees, convoys, FABs, armor units, you name it
but i have this gut feeling
this itch with every explosion i see
i'll get put with the infantry
and ill have to make that call

it's a flip flop of hte stomach
turning over again and again and again
POP
black smoke
as fast as a rifle fires
yet deadlier
disguised
dealing death from afar

the senior marines
tell us how we haven't seen shit yet
i believe them
but i can't do much
other than wait
for my time to come

i just hope when it does
i'm faster
smarter
more observant

so i can kill the enemy
before they kill me.