what the fuck did i just write?

i like to drink energy drinks alone
closest thing i have to alcohol
i sip down thier flavor
an aquired taste
let it fizzle on the tounge
staring to the sky
wondering...
wondering...
wondering why i'm smoking another ciggarette
i wish the smell of cowboy killers and cloves
could be put into a perfume
i want the world to smell like tobacco
unsmoked
sometimes i keep a ciggarette in my lips as i go to sleep
just to have that smell
no smoke at all
let my heartrate fall
its beating a mile a minuet
and i know it wont last long
i'm good out the gate
but unless i catch a good stride
i'm fatal before i finish

sometimes i drink 5 energy drinks a day
to go with at least a gallon of water
i wish i had a calorie counter
but i think she'd have a heart attack
knowing how much shit goes in my system
how much of everythign i just let process through
i use up a lot of it
if not all of it
it hurts

because i'm far away from you
and no matter how long i seem to run
no matter what mountains i realize i can climb
i still cant get to you

i cant fight mother earth and father time
cant drive them to move faster
cant offer them a drink to speed up their hearts
they're too big for me

so i try to speed myself up instead
time is supposed to be relative
if i move faster so should time
spin me around like the flash
let me go all the way to the future
let me explore the depths of the past
let me see your smile

i am disconnected cables
little bits of static jumping through
in purple lightning bolts
my mind is like a playdoh barbershop
fibers pushed through little molds
seperating them like cheese

sometimes... i eat cheese crackers
and sip on energy drinks
while i sit alone
wondering why i'm smoking another ciggarette
trying to learn the reason for a heart
beatingsofast
keeping time
ticking
so
slow

sometimes i think i'm crazy...
i hope you dont mind.