bibliomancy

when i was young
i read in a book
it may or may not
have been a harry potter companion
about a thing called
bibliomancy
the magic of books

a stupid thing to say
since books were always magic
but i fell in love with the idea

what you do
is form a question in your head
find a book you have a connection with
thumb the pages as you quetly think
eyes closed
focus on the question
open to a random page
run fingers across until it feels like you should stop
read the word
the sentance
or the passage
and perhaps it will make more sense
or you'll gain a new outlook or idea
something

now and again
when lost
i practice bibliomancy
and ask my question.

one night
i asked if i would have the strength
to prevent myself from the temptation
with all the foolish choices around me each day
could i be strong enough to resist
since i've had the habit so many times before
weakness is something i've been working to rid myself

the book i had on hand
was a new testament, psalms, and proverbs
a military edition
desert camo
given to me by an army vietnam vetran
i shook his hand
wished him a good day
told him to hydrate
thanked him for his service
he was missing half a thumb on the right
and one of the fingers on his left hand

when i opened the book
chose my passage
it began the story
of jesus and the adultress
let those without sin cast the first stone
so commonly taken from that story
but the better message
is when he says to the woman
"Where are your accusers? Has no one condemmed you?"
and she replies
"no one lord"
to which he says
"Then neither do i"

it's funny jesus says
in my modern terms
"is anyone saying you have done wrong?"
"nope, i think i'm good"
"then you're good"

what it tells me though
is that if i think i'll be strong enough
than i will

i'm worrying over nothing.