our hearts are like wires pumping electricity out of muscle making blood flow from point a to point b where i see you sitting there without a care knowing you caught my stare yet not shying away or lashing out you just sit there, slight pout, looking about like a bird looks at bread you drop on the ground without a sound knowing every, pound, of bird that eats the bread will feed the cat lead to where little birdy sleeps at.


sometimes when i fall asleep thinking about you
i wake up reaching for something that isnt there
my bed feels neglected because i have not really slept
i've just passed time there
waiting for you

what the fuck did i just write?

i like to drink energy drinks alone
closest thing i have to alcohol
i sip down thier flavor
an aquired taste
let it fizzle on the tounge
staring to the sky
wondering...
wondering...
wondering why i'm smoking another ciggarette
i wish the smell of cowboy killers and cloves
could be put into a perfume
i want the world to smell like tobacco
unsmoked
sometimes i keep a ciggarette in my lips as i go to sleep
just to have that smell
no smoke at all
let my heartrate fall
its beating a mile a minuet
and i know it wont last long
i'm good out the gate
but unless i catch a good stride
i'm fatal before i finish

sometimes i drink 5 energy drinks a day
to go with at least a gallon of water
i wish i had a calorie counter
but i think she'd have a heart attack
knowing how much shit goes in my system
how much of everythign i just let process through
i use up a lot of it
if not all of it
it hurts

because i'm far away from you
and no matter how long i seem to run
no matter what mountains i realize i can climb
i still cant get to you

i cant fight mother earth and father time
cant drive them to move faster
cant offer them a drink to speed up their hearts
they're too big for me

so i try to speed myself up instead
time is supposed to be relative
if i move faster so should time
spin me around like the flash
let me go all the way to the future
let me explore the depths of the past
let me see your smile

i am disconnected cables
little bits of static jumping through
in purple lightning bolts
my mind is like a playdoh barbershop
fibers pushed through little molds
seperating them like cheese

sometimes... i eat cheese crackers
and sip on energy drinks
while i sit alone
wondering why i'm smoking another ciggarette
trying to learn the reason for a heart
beatingsofast
keeping time
ticking
so
slow

sometimes i think i'm crazy...
i hope you dont mind.

bibliomancy

when i was young
i read in a book
it may or may not
have been a harry potter companion
about a thing called
bibliomancy
the magic of books

a stupid thing to say
since books were always magic
but i fell in love with the idea

what you do
is form a question in your head
find a book you have a connection with
thumb the pages as you quetly think
eyes closed
focus on the question
open to a random page
run fingers across until it feels like you should stop
read the word
the sentance
or the passage
and perhaps it will make more sense
or you'll gain a new outlook or idea
something

now and again
when lost
i practice bibliomancy
and ask my question.

one night
i asked if i would have the strength
to prevent myself from the temptation
with all the foolish choices around me each day
could i be strong enough to resist
since i've had the habit so many times before
weakness is something i've been working to rid myself

the book i had on hand
was a new testament, psalms, and proverbs
a military edition
desert camo
given to me by an army vietnam vetran
i shook his hand
wished him a good day
told him to hydrate
thanked him for his service
he was missing half a thumb on the right
and one of the fingers on his left hand

when i opened the book
chose my passage
it began the story
of jesus and the adultress
let those without sin cast the first stone
so commonly taken from that story
but the better message
is when he says to the woman
"Where are your accusers? Has no one condemmed you?"
and she replies
"no one lord"
to which he says
"Then neither do i"

it's funny jesus says
in my modern terms
"is anyone saying you have done wrong?"
"nope, i think i'm good"
"then you're good"

what it tells me though
is that if i think i'll be strong enough
than i will

i'm worrying over nothing.

i put my april 30/30 on facebook guys, sorry.

current horoscope

You're dealing with relationship issues with a new determination -- you might force your mate or kids to sit down and hear you out, or you might seek out a new partner through new means

you know what the issue is?
9 hours of time difference
fucking me over
every day
cause i miss her...

you know what the issue is?
fucking temptation being so easy
and my dick
begging me
to get permission
or asking for it
because it's little bitchass
hasnt been given attention in forever

or maybe it's teh fact that i could cheat so well.
but i dont want to!
i mean fuck!
i was the one who decided i wanted this relationship
n now i'm getting all fucked up
because one chick decides to show me some attention?

fuck horoscopes.
my problem is all playing with time.

not dead yet

new poems are coming soon. gonna fix up some of my 30/30(perhaps 60/30) poems and post'm here as well as facebook.

the desert has been pretty good for poetry