dark waters

"yeah..i have trouble with those other parts of the world..
sometimes i dangle my foot in that dark water just because its facinating
but i really don't think i should or can handle it" - Jen Nealon

Dark water's edge is the wedge between
this world and the world that lies beyond
that one you always look at
dream about
but you cant go in
you shouldn't
no one is going to be there
no one will hold your hand
because within the dark water
there are weeds
which drag you down
which entice you
to stay awhile
experience the darker style
where pain falls
like the drip-drop
drip-drop
dark water

never mind...
come inside
taste the sweet seduction
sanctified by your soul
slowly slipping
deeper
than you ever dare

dark waters
welcome you
to the world
you've been missing.

Steve Rogers and I, have something in common.

Steve Rogers probably felt like this
standing in line
to join the army
and fight Nazis
and the Japanese
to serve his country.
Having them look him over and say
"No boy, Too frail
Too Weak"
except
He was joining the army
and they had secret programs
to make him stronger
faster
and better than everyone else
a Super Soldier.

I...
I am Joining the Marine Corps
who would've looked at Rogers
and said
"Boy, there's no chance in hell
unless you can overhaul yourself"
they have no secret programs
so they look at me and say
"Not yet.
Too frail
Too weak."
and unlike steve
there are no secret projects
nothing for me to miraculously get
stronger and faster
no
I do this the old fashioned way
I work harder
I push more
Because I want this
More than he did
I want this
more than anyone.

I wish i lived in the 1920s so bad.

suspenders sexy
nineteen-twenties tough
that's me
walking down the street
from ten to three.

shining purple, wrinkle free
black slacks
fedora
navy blue under-tee
my shoes are shined
as bright as my smirk
so watch out ladies
as i get to work

with a grin and a nod
subtle up-down
checkin' out what you got
seein' if i wanna get

i'm friendly
i smile
i care about you
old fashioned man
the 1920s were cool

give me
prohibition
saying "no, not yet"
and i'll sneak across your boarders
to just get my lips wet

purple-gang violent
Cadillac swift
red wine smooth
and a moonshine kick

i will find your hideaways
store the goods there
and when the cops come around
just a lounge
some chairs

cause i am
suspenders sexy
while being
nineteen-twenties tough
prohibition sneaky
and willing to get rough

A hard rejection

i wrote you a message
it said... i need you.
it meant
i want you really badly
and i don't think you want me at all
please... take me anyway
you'll come to find
i'm not so bad
but it does all this passively
no assertive tendencies
not that those worked either
it said to keep in touch...
you wont
i know
it's ok now
you don't have to pretend anymore
you don't have to pretend at all

i'm ok you know
you asked me to be
so i am
just for you

baby bird

fear is welling up
the bird is about to leave the nest
and doesn't know if he can fly
all he knows is if he can't
then he will crawl on the ground
until he can see you again

Coparanis

that was harder than i thought...
i just
chased you
chase and chase
getting no where
and loving every minuet
small little victories
if only we had more time
i could have...
fallen for you
i could have...
gotten you
to fall for me
we could've
been a train wreck
between heartbeats
loud as car accidents
goodbyes with someone you care about
you cant bring yourself to say
goodbye...
it isn't likely i'll see you again
our
life expectancies are not as long
as everyone else's
our
stories may be similar but they might not
intersect
we are close to parallel
you are...
beautiful
i
will miss you.

fuck

i'm just enjoying myself
having a good time before i leave
and i get embarrassed
infront of my whole fucking family...

fuck

just... fuck...

this makes no sense... lets analyze it someday n find out what i was saying ! (kidding)

i have fear
it scares me
just
drop me down
and let me know
is this real?

sniffing flowers
like cocaine

tasting the sky
like a symphony

fall down
fear

drop me down
is this real?