bibliomancy

when i was young
i read in a book
it may or may not
have been a harry potter companion
about a thing called
bibliomancy
the magic of books

a stupid thing to say
since books were always magic
but i fell in love with the idea

what you do
is form a question in your head
find a book you have a connection with
thumb the pages as you quetly think
eyes closed
focus on the question
open to a random page
run fingers across until it feels like you should stop
read the word
the sentance
or the passage
and perhaps it will make more sense
or you'll gain a new outlook or idea
something

now and again
when lost
i practice bibliomancy
and ask my question.

one night
i asked if i would have the strength
to prevent myself from the temptation
with all the foolish choices around me each day
could i be strong enough to resist
since i've had the habit so many times before
weakness is something i've been working to rid myself

the book i had on hand
was a new testament, psalms, and proverbs
a military edition
desert camo
given to me by an army vietnam vetran
i shook his hand
wished him a good day
told him to hydrate
thanked him for his service
he was missing half a thumb on the right
and one of the fingers on his left hand

when i opened the book
chose my passage
it began the story
of jesus and the adultress
let those without sin cast the first stone
so commonly taken from that story
but the better message
is when he says to the woman
"Where are your accusers? Has no one condemmed you?"
and she replies
"no one lord"
to which he says
"Then neither do i"

it's funny jesus says
in my modern terms
"is anyone saying you have done wrong?"
"nope, i think i'm good"
"then you're good"

what it tells me though
is that if i think i'll be strong enough
than i will

i'm worrying over nothing.

i put my april 30/30 on facebook guys, sorry.

current horoscope

You're dealing with relationship issues with a new determination -- you might force your mate or kids to sit down and hear you out, or you might seek out a new partner through new means

you know what the issue is?
9 hours of time difference
fucking me over
every day
cause i miss her...

you know what the issue is?
fucking temptation being so easy
and my dick
begging me
to get permission
or asking for it
because it's little bitchass
hasnt been given attention in forever

or maybe it's teh fact that i could cheat so well.
but i dont want to!
i mean fuck!
i was the one who decided i wanted this relationship
n now i'm getting all fucked up
because one chick decides to show me some attention?

fuck horoscopes.
my problem is all playing with time.

not dead yet

new poems are coming soon. gonna fix up some of my 30/30(perhaps 60/30) poems and post'm here as well as facebook.

the desert has been pretty good for poetry

IEDs and me

i keep thinking of those videos
propoganda for terrorists
or perhaps just for the anti-american
how blood boiled
my heart sickened
my eyes forced open
you cant let yourself look away
not when you know
that you'll be the one
guarding that gate
checking that vehical
searching that person
who may or may not
be ready to kill you
and all those you are trying to protect

i saw IEDs blow up convoys and humvees
a flash with smoke
it's not as dramatic as the movies make
no fireball
no flames flickering afterwards
just black smoke
and knowing those inside that vehicle
arnt alive anymore.

i saw a young marine
complacent in his area
not showing the aggressive
assertive
asskicking stance
that we're trained to have
for both friend and foe
no matter how many times we've seen them
get blown up
a vehicle with a bomb
someone who worked at that base for years
studying us
surveying us
sedating our minds with a sense of

friendship.


during our combat patrol practical application
i volenteered to carry the radio
my MOS is 0621
feild radio operator
i was hoping to get a little expiriance
before i headed off to my schooling
we were ambushed
and afterwards they explained how we bunched up
how we followed a set path instead of running through the abundant woods
how if it were real combat we would've been destroyed

then we were hit by an IED
our dispersion along the road was good so we only had 3 causualties out of our squad
consisting of 24 people

that was good
3 people who would've died
i was in the rear of our formation
by the time i called it in to EOD
and ran to the front
those casualties would've already lost have thier time
drastically needed for medevac
which could only be called in by me

it made me realize i need to get faster
a lot faster

there's a million places i could get sent
or attached to
humvees, convoys, FABs, armor units, you name it
but i have this gut feeling
this itch with every explosion i see
i'll get put with the infantry
and ill have to make that call

it's a flip flop of hte stomach
turning over again and again and again
POP
black smoke
as fast as a rifle fires
yet deadlier
disguised
dealing death from afar

the senior marines
tell us how we haven't seen shit yet
i believe them
but i can't do much
other than wait
for my time to come

i just hope when it does
i'm faster
smarter
more observant

so i can kill the enemy
before they kill me.

i do not speak hands
i do not speak feeling
i only speak with one language
this one
i am ignorant
i am sorry

poems from bootcamp

holding history in my hands
letting legacy slip through fingers
like sand through the sift
catching only big pieces
not minute details
we are legacy killers
let the blood of our forefathers
their sweat and tears
fly out our lazy lips
as we spit on the ground they laid before us

Boot Camp Poems

Carlie sent these to me (his sister0 to post on here while he is at boot camp, so they might be alittle messed up, but i did my best to copy them. Enjoy.


Warrior

Primal Warriors charging forward
against odds deemed impossible
clad in their surroundings
they are born through fire
and sweat rolling into iron made
strong into steel

Delicate Creatures paying all mind
to the intrictcies of history, customs
and tradition, they know the gental
folds of fabric like the petals of
a floweer ever cartions and gental
with those deserving of respect.


Scream

"Scream till you spit blood"
They said.
Scream for your life
Scream Aye Sir
SCREAM
SCREAM
SCREAM
Till your throut rips itself out
Till your ribcage hurts from breathing
Till you mae the world change.
You, you and your petty ideas
crying and hollaring for change,
for peace, for love
Scream Louder.
Scream till your voice is gone
and has regrown broken in your mouth
Everything s paid for in blood
So Scream, till the copper taste
fills your mouth, and your smile is red.


Time Fears

Time is relative, to what you do
to what you feel , and time is movemnt,
staynation leaves slow inching tick of
thought passing up and down
These moments i sit merely awaiting
the next challenge, punishment, activity,
class... something,Just bear down on
my shoulders like the world on atlas
it hurts, giving drive and anticipation
fear, givin readiness. i know
when movement starts the dial
spins round, round, round again
fleeing from the peocity of forward
footsteps followed by fear for wasted
moments because we move fast
fast fast the only speed we know
and time cannot keep up while
we move forward, so when we do stop,
time makes us feel
every.... single... moment....