IEDs and me

i keep thinking of those videos
propoganda for terrorists
or perhaps just for the anti-american
how blood boiled
my heart sickened
my eyes forced open
you cant let yourself look away
not when you know
that you'll be the one
guarding that gate
checking that vehical
searching that person
who may or may not
be ready to kill you
and all those you are trying to protect

i saw IEDs blow up convoys and humvees
a flash with smoke
it's not as dramatic as the movies make
no fireball
no flames flickering afterwards
just black smoke
and knowing those inside that vehicle
arnt alive anymore.

i saw a young marine
complacent in his area
not showing the aggressive
assertive
asskicking stance
that we're trained to have
for both friend and foe
no matter how many times we've seen them
get blown up
a vehicle with a bomb
someone who worked at that base for years
studying us
surveying us
sedating our minds with a sense of

friendship.


during our combat patrol practical application
i volenteered to carry the radio
my MOS is 0621
feild radio operator
i was hoping to get a little expiriance
before i headed off to my schooling
we were ambushed
and afterwards they explained how we bunched up
how we followed a set path instead of running through the abundant woods
how if it were real combat we would've been destroyed

then we were hit by an IED
our dispersion along the road was good so we only had 3 causualties out of our squad
consisting of 24 people

that was good
3 people who would've died
i was in the rear of our formation
by the time i called it in to EOD
and ran to the front
those casualties would've already lost have thier time
drastically needed for medevac
which could only be called in by me

it made me realize i need to get faster
a lot faster

there's a million places i could get sent
or attached to
humvees, convoys, FABs, armor units, you name it
but i have this gut feeling
this itch with every explosion i see
i'll get put with the infantry
and ill have to make that call

it's a flip flop of hte stomach
turning over again and again and again
POP
black smoke
as fast as a rifle fires
yet deadlier
disguised
dealing death from afar

the senior marines
tell us how we haven't seen shit yet
i believe them
but i can't do much
other than wait
for my time to come

i just hope when it does
i'm faster
smarter
more observant

so i can kill the enemy
before they kill me.

i do not speak hands
i do not speak feeling
i only speak with one language
this one
i am ignorant
i am sorry

poems from bootcamp

holding history in my hands
letting legacy slip through fingers
like sand through the sift
catching only big pieces
not minute details
we are legacy killers
let the blood of our forefathers
their sweat and tears
fly out our lazy lips
as we spit on the ground they laid before us

Boot Camp Poems

Carlie sent these to me (his sister0 to post on here while he is at boot camp, so they might be alittle messed up, but i did my best to copy them. Enjoy.


Warrior

Primal Warriors charging forward
against odds deemed impossible
clad in their surroundings
they are born through fire
and sweat rolling into iron made
strong into steel

Delicate Creatures paying all mind
to the intrictcies of history, customs
and tradition, they know the gental
folds of fabric like the petals of
a floweer ever cartions and gental
with those deserving of respect.


Scream

"Scream till you spit blood"
They said.
Scream for your life
Scream Aye Sir
SCREAM
SCREAM
SCREAM
Till your throut rips itself out
Till your ribcage hurts from breathing
Till you mae the world change.
You, you and your petty ideas
crying and hollaring for change,
for peace, for love
Scream Louder.
Scream till your voice is gone
and has regrown broken in your mouth
Everything s paid for in blood
So Scream, till the copper taste
fills your mouth, and your smile is red.


Time Fears

Time is relative, to what you do
to what you feel , and time is movemnt,
staynation leaves slow inching tick of
thought passing up and down
These moments i sit merely awaiting
the next challenge, punishment, activity,
class... something,Just bear down on
my shoulders like the world on atlas
it hurts, giving drive and anticipation
fear, givin readiness. i know
when movement starts the dial
spins round, round, round again
fleeing from the peocity of forward
footsteps followed by fear for wasted
moments because we move fast
fast fast the only speed we know
and time cannot keep up while
we move forward, so when we do stop,
time makes us feel
every.... single... moment....

The Falls

Phaeton:

I tried to drive my father's chariot.
Took the morning star and rode on through the skies bringing day.
He did not see my wish to let the world start over.
They called it an accident,
said i could not control myself and that
is why i woke the sky serpent.
why i brought fire to the mountaintops
why i bathed civilizations in flames.
I was struck down hard by grandfather's lightning.
they still speak of my fall.

Lucifer:

I tried to take my father's throne
As the Morningstar i led forces through the day
He did not see my wish to let the world start over
But knew it was no accident
I could no longer control myself
Came down from the sky as a serpent
Brought fire to the mountaintops
bathed heaven in flames
i was struck down by Michael's lightning
they will always speak of my fall

Icarus:

flew with my father's wings
up towards the morning star i climbed
just wanting to escape this world
it was an accident i swear
feathers falling off like serpent-skin
fires on their tips
fire in the wax
struck down by my own foolishness
i wish they would forget my fall.


Phaeton:

Lightning
raw power of heaven
drawn like a line
the bolt thrown as javelin
hard
fast
penetrates
yet leaves no shaft
to grip and remove
nothing can stop it
for it travels through your veins
lighting them all on fire
i knew the feeling of the world
in a beautiful pain
buzzing and crackling
felt the fires
felt rebirth so near
father said his chariot would be the death of me
he forgave me as he handed me the reigns.

Lucifer:

He was Lightning
Michael the power of heaven
drew the line
holding flaming sword
dropped for fists
hard
fast
neither of us would yield
entangled like earthquakes
he brought me down
let me feel the aches and pains
it was beautiful
he sent me home
trapped in ice so cold it burned
like the fires i let loose upon home
my father knew this would not be the death of me
i wonder if his son would forgive as easily

Icarus:
I wish i'd been Lightning
so my fall would be instant
instead it was
hard
fast
with impending doom
i watched the waters beneath me
i felt the fires of my wings burn
the wax peeling away on my skin
as smoke poured through my nose
my father watched me fall
called out like he did when i rose too high
he did not chastise me in his cries
nor called out my folly as one to be remembered
for ages hence as one fool trying to reach
a brighter, better place
nor did he call out forgiveness for my fall
it was all just loss


Narrator:

wonder if falling
Down from the heavens above
can happen often

or perhaps it's only ever happened once

you cant see the cracks in my armor.
i've put putty over all the cracks.
you'd never know unless you took me apart
or i started splitting at the seams.

the devil's in the details, and my trade is in trim-work.

a talk about "us"

have you been avoiding it like i have?
because distance makes us weak?
or is it just me that gets weak
me who doesn't want someone waiting
with romance in her heart
while i go off and train
to save and end lives by my choosing
to save and end lives by my stagnation
to save and end lives by my hands

i'm avoiding it because i'm about to leave
it'll be easier if i don't have a girl waiting at home
no worries on the home front
waiting nervously for letters
fears of a "dear john" letter
every mail call

you make me happy
we talk every day
separated so far
a relationship is just putting a name on what we're already working towards

i meant it when i said go for opportunities that arise
don't wait on my account
because i have a habit of waiting too long
when it comes to jumping off a cliff
into oceans of good things
i'm used to it being too late
but as long as your happy
i'll be fine with it