1/30

if i am ever in a hospital bed, i will demand less comfort.
let the pain keep me awake.
dull it to a kitchen knife so it's bearable
but let it hurt me to sleep
let my bed be one of those cots
from the first great war
so i wont look small
I am not the kind of man to sink into mattresses
looking small and lost within sheets and pillows
i should look as i do standing
not quite tall, but not short
proud
with shoulders that show how much weight i have carried
hospital beds... are too comforting and too distant
i want to be next to my loved ones
leave out the rails
i'll behave (mostly)
and stay put like you tell me too

i just want to have them hold me when they say goodbye
without a distance separating us
death comes by inches
and when it comes for me
she'll find none to fit between us.